We live in a society where skinny is the ideal body and considered “healthy”. While from a distance skinny or thin may seem healthy, that is not always the case. I have been thin most of my life. When I was a child the pediatrician would scold my mom that I was underweight. She had to stop seeing him because he thought I was being neglected. In school I was always thin tall and had unruly curly hair. Still do. It wasn’t until I got my first group of girlfriends in high school that I “saw myself” for the first time. They went on and on about how thin I was. Only then did it dawn on me I was much smaller than a lot of other girls my age. I never weighed an ounce over 125 up until about 21 or 22 years old. I would either get tons of compliments such as oh my god your body is perfect or I would over here thins like “ew I would never want to be that skinny ” or “you can see her ribs” . The reality is I couldn’t have been farther from healthy. A steady diet of fast food every single day every single meal. Mornings would consist of me chugging a can of mountain dew and going back to sleep. A lot of things factored in to my weigh that such as genetics, all the women on both sides of my family grew up very thin and stress. Personal issues at home and in life in general stressed the weight away literally. When I started living with my husband and became stress free is when the weight started to slowly pack on. For me it felt like I blinked and boom 25 pounds miraculously appeared on my body.
After moving in with my now husband I cannot stress how many times I drove past Crossfit Lindy. Stared at that ginormous sign and wondered what it was like in that gym. I would occasionally catch the crossfit games on TV and was in aw at the strength of those women. I would tell myself no way I could do that. A lot of those women grew up on farms lifting heavy objects daily. Even though I was no longer rail thin, I just couldn’t see myself doing those feats of strength and agility. Finally one day after so many failed attempts of starting a gym routine and being a gym rat failed I decided to email Crossfit Lindy. Dan responded with some special they had going on for the month. Still I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m not sure what clicked the following month but I emailed him again about joining. The first person I met was Dan Shook and he was so welcoming and nice to me. Nothing like what I pictured a crossfitter to be like.
The first class and many after were extremely intimidating for me. Here I was clueless in a class full of men and women who were ripped and throwing up crazy amounts of weight. I kept going even when I felt like a disappointment because it would take me 3x the time to finish a WOD. My first Saturday class I remember seeing so many people and thinking wow they are all trulycommitted. Everyone had these positive let’s fuck shit up attitude that surprised me.Crossfit works for me because it’s different everyday and engaging in ways a standard gym isn’t. Yeah we snatch and clean a lot but we vary moves a lot.
What I learned and continue to learn is everyone starts and ends at a different level. I have to remind myself constantly not to measure myself against these people who have been grinding for years. I had to take off to welcome my daughter and of course that set me back. However coming back has been truly amazing. New mom blues are real and can lead you to dark places. I now use crossfit to channel my anger, sadness and stress on top of wanting to get better and stronger every week. Since returning no one judges me or my “mom bod” which includes some nasty scars all over my mid section. Everyone still cheers me on when I’m falling behind or just need encouragement. People tell my body “snapped” back fast, but I still have so much left I want to do and conquer.


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